Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
