Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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