Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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