i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
