I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize