I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
