dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
you had me at cake vodka
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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