Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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