I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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