this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have tasted many bathrooms
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
