so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
