u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
