Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
