Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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