my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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