I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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