He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
