my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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