I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
