Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
