I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i think my mom watched the whole time
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
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