...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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