why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.