About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.