Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months