who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.