She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
