hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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