yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
