shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
