Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
