I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
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My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.