i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
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We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
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After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?