"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
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the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
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You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know