So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs