Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games

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  (415): I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games http://tfl.nu/i5dy
  Replies (8) Good night (649) Bad night (1200)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  How bad was it?

  (1-713): View more from Texas

  You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth

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  (713): How bad was it? (1-713): You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth http://tfl.nu/i16m
  Replies (23) Good night (5247) Bad night (809)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.

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  (412): He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower. http://tfl.nu/q9b8
  Replies (26) Good night (1192) Bad night (5942)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.

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  (818): I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore. http://tfl.nu/ogz1
  Replies (19) Good night (1278) Bad night (3844)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.

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  (858): Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them. http://tfl.nu/9mrx
  Replies (22) Good night (6759) Bad night (1584)
• Favorite

  (712): View more from Iowa

  He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!

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  (712): He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!! http://tfl.nu/bjv4
  Replies (15) Good night (819) Bad night (5396)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.

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  (727): I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible. http://tfl.nu/n38l
  Replies (30) Good night (812) Bad night (6605)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once

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  (850): i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once http://tfl.nu/6uuj
  Replies (3) Good night (5232) Bad night (1045)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.

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  (904): you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/a9rr
  Replies (9) Good night (2885) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG

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  (304): The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG http://tfl.nu/so20
  Replies (7) Good night (1681) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.

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  (+44): I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral. http://tfl.nu/7nti
  Replies (3) Good night (2539) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.

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  (705): He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on. http://tfl.nu/2ncf
  Replies (9) Good night (3185) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.

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  (804): You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/xqs5
  Replies (5) Good night (1143) Bad night (407)
• Favorite

  (424): View more from California

  at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went

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  (424): at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went http://tfl.nu/cfyi
  Replies (0) Good night (493) Bad night (299)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?

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  (530): I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding? http://tfl.nu/e1mv
  Replies (0) Good night (303) Bad night (178)

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