Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching