Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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