I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
