last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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