if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
