I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
These tits shall not be calmed
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
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