When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
