I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
