I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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