I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
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All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
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We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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