Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
FUCK WHALES
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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