this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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