I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I want to have your abortion
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
