Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize