u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
