hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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