i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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