i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
