i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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