What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
