Pregnant stripper...not hot.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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