You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I have feelings that need drinking.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
