So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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