i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
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